October 2010 Archives

How much time do you spend worrying about premature ejaculation?

It’s an interesting question to ask, because the chances are that the more you worry about it the more likely it is to happen.

The reason I say this is I believe that worrying about premature ejaculation is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Now what is a self-fulfilling prophecy?

It means that by expecting something to happen you make it happen.

So if you weren’t originally going to orgasm early, by worrying and thinking that you will you in fact make it happen.

Some studies claim that by experiencing the emotional state of worry or nervousness you literally change the chemistry of your body to encourage premature ejaculation.

This is because when you worry your body releases the hormones adrenaline and dopamine into your bloodstream.

And some theories suggest that the presence of these chemical in the bloodstream make early orgasm more likely to happen that if they’re not around.

So that’s the complicated scientific way of explaining why premature ejaculation happens when you worry about it, but doesn’t it make sense intuitively anyway?

I mean, think about it…

If you spend all your time during sex worrying about premature ejaculation, don’t you think it’s much more likely to happen than if you spend all your time thinking about how long you’re going to last and how much the woman you’re with is going to enjoy it?

Personally I don’t need the scientific explanation to know that makes sense.

But whether or not you believe it doesn’t matter.

What matters is whether you’re willing to give it a try.

So do that tonight.

The next time you have sex instead of thinking and worrying about not lasting long in bed, spend your time consciously thinking about how long you’re going to last.

A simple shift in mental attitude could work wonders for you.

I was hanging out with a good friend of mine recently when the topic of lasting long in bed came up.

Without even battering an eye-lid he said “oh that’s easy, I just have 6 beers and then I can last for ages”.

How’s that for a last longer strategy?

Well as effective as it might be for him, it’s not something I personally recommend.

In a way, it’s kind of similar to some of the other potentially scam solutions online like pills, creams or special condoms.

And the way that it’s similar is that it’s quick fix for sure, but it only works the one time you use it.  It’s not like a technique that you can learn and use every time you have sex from now on…

It only works once before he has to use it again.

So if he gets into a situation where he’s with a woman he’d like to have sex with daily then that means he’s going to have to get through 6 beers everyday just to keep on top of his sex life.

Which isn’t exactly an ideal solution…

Not only is it damn inconvenient… Think of what the cost would be to your health if you want to have long lasting sex daily and the only way you could do it was with drinking 6 beers everyday…

You’d be screwed!

The fact that although like this “strategy” for stopping premature ejaculation might actually work, it’s not a viable long-term solution and it’s an incredibly inconvenient one on top of that.

I may be a bit biased here, but I kinda prefer the 100% natural solution of techniques and strategies that mean I can last longer in bed every time I have sex without relying on some external “thing”.

But anyway, that’s my rant over…

What are some of the more “out there” solutions you’ve heard about?  Drop a comment below to let me know…

How long do you reckon a Buddhist monk could last in bed?

Putting aside the fact that most Buddhist monks don’t actually have sex for religious reasons… let’s just for the sake of argument say they did.

How long do you think they would go before the “dreaded” premature ejaculation?

My guess is that they would last pretty darn long.

And I guess this for the simple fact that they would probably be incredibly relaxed throughout the whole thing.

Since they spend so much time meditating I imagine they’d probably have very VERY few things to worry about.

Even if they did have things to worry about they probably wouldn’t worry about them just because all that meditation they do would just melt away those worries.

So when it comes to sex they’d probably be totally calm and in control.

And why would this help them last?

Well one of the main causes of premature ejaculation is excess stress, worry and nervousness.

You may have heard me talking about this before, but unnecessary worry and nervousness have consistently been link to premature ejaculation.

Some argue that worry and stress cause the release of the hormones adrenaline and dopamine into the bloodstream which in turn encourage premature ejaculation.

And unfortunately since many men worry about premature ejaculation so much they only end up making it happen time and time again just because of the fact they worry about it.

It can twist your brain a bit if you think too much about it, but my point is that since Buddhist monks are so chilled out they’d probably last pretty long in bed if they wanted to…

Because the worries wouldn’t be there.

So why don’t you do the same as them and get rid of those worries.

Take 5 minutes a day from now on to just sit still, distraction free and meditate.

You don’t have to do any fancy visualization or anything, just sit there and watch your thoughts go by.

Do this for a minimum of a week and soon you’ll finding yourself feeling relaxed in the bedroom and lasting much longer.

You’ve probably heard of “Tantra” or “Tantric sex” before, but did you know you could use it to last longer in bed?  Let me show you how…

Getting into Tantric Sex opens up a whole other world of possibilities when it comes to sex… Way more in fact than I’ve got time to go into here, but I think knowing some basic ideas about it can help you last longer in bed…

One of the key distinctions Tantric Sex makes is that the focus of sex should not be on the end objective of orgasm, but instead the focus should be on the pleasure of the moment.

Of we both know that most people (especially men, but women too) get caught up in trying to do everything to achieve that orgasm or create it in her, while Tantric sex says this is missing the whole point of sex…

Because the point of sex is to enjoy the whole process.

And this means focussing your attention on the moment and enjoying the experience of the person you’re intimate with.

Now the way this helps you last longer in bed is as follows…

By putting your focus on enjoying the moment you relax a lot more and enjoy yourself.

Instead of worrying constantly “is she enjoying this?” “will I last long enough this time?” “is my penis big enough?” your focus is on her getting pleasure.

When your focus changes you relax a lot more…

And like I talk about in my article on how to prevent premature ejaculation, taking the pressure off yourself and not worrying about premature ejaculation can help you last significantly longer.

This really was a quick introduction to Tantric sex, but it’s well worth learning about if you want to improve the quality of your sex life.

And if you want to learn some other strategies to last longer in bed then check out this article on premature ejaculation cures.